The Gift of Wealth

Over the years working with various business owners that I am deeply curious about…why they went into business, who they are as a person, and where they want to go in the future. I find a deeper level of curiosity and compassion with the people who have discovered there is greater joy, health, and holistic wealth that lays outside the walls of their business. They developed an understanding that their business was just a “vehicle” to take them on their journey. These people have discovered that their business is not their identity, rather they’ve discovered the courage to be the person they want to be to fully live life.

I first learned this lesson when I lost my first role model. My stepfather, who loved everyone, would help anyone, and seemed to have a blast everywhere he went. I was in my early 30s then and I wrote a poem to express how I saw him live his life. It was called “Just Live.” Logically, I understood what I saw from his life from the outside but mentally, emotionally, physically… I didn’t truly understand how he felt.

As I look back over these last two decades, his philosophy is making far more sense both logically and emotionally. It is yet to be engrained in me physically.

My step-father had lost his own father to heart disease of which he himself knew he had inherited. He was grateful for every year he lived longer than his father did. But he lived those extended years differently. He retired as soon as he could. He moved to the greatest place on earth that he loved and he urged my Mom to retire as soon as she could. They played and enjoyed life every day. He loved to golf, to be with his friends, family, and travel. He smiled often and laughed a lot. On the day he did pass, he was right where he wanted to be. He knew how to live. He didn’t judge. He was so very kind, giving, and grateful for everything he had. Yet he wasn’t without fear. He did fear dying. Losing time with those he loved. Fear of upsetting others with his words and feeling unloved. This is human.

I’ve learned a lot from this great man.

Along my own journey, I willingly admit I’ve feared a large amount. I fear A LOT actually. I have held back with the hopes that others will l like me better if they don’t see ME. I’ve done really, really stupid things. At least stupid in the eyes of others. I’ve buried myself in work to create myself. I’ve climbed corporate ladders thinking others would be proud of me, respect me, or be inspired to do it too. Only along this journey for me to realize that everything I was hiding from, putting up walls to protect myself from, was the exact path I wanted to be on but lacked the courage to step up.

I’ve learned a lot from these experiences, and I have been humbled with the gift of nine lives while wise enough to know I only have one left.

Now it brings me to the business owners I am learning about. Many are ready for their next chapter. This chapter may be to extend the life they have and get healthier. It may be to travel and spend more time with family. It may be to experience more fun and less stress. Maybe it’s to give more to others that need more than what they’ve been given. Or maybe it’s all of the above. Whatever the future holds, what they all see is that it holds something more than where they have been. They don’t know the exact destination. What they have done is let go of what they thought they could control because they realize they really have no control over anything except what they think, feel and do, so they let go. They’ve been on a journey that has helped them discover that their business is not who they are. Their business has helped them discover who they want to be, how they want to live, and who they want to spend it with.

“What we know matters, but who we are matters more. Being rather than knowing requires showing up and letting ourselves be seen.” – Dr. Brene’ Brown

I’ve learned a lot from these business owners.

As we grow older and lose the ones we love and care for what I have written above becomes more apparent. I am now taking what I understood logically so long ago from my stepfather and continue the journey of “emotional understanding.” I am learning to feel deeper and wider. But what really excites me is when my journey takes me to discovering the next and last phase of “physical understanding.” Meaning, I have broken down the walls of fear. The fear that creates the need to judge, be angry, to worry…….etc. These walls that control my environment, my thoughts, my feelings, my actions. Because once I have broken down these walls I can see with clarity the vast world of opportunity of beauty, fun, joy, health, and a holistic wealth that has been there all this time.

This article for you may resonate, it may feel a bit to “woo woo” or it may freak you out to no end. Too touchy feely, too vulnerable, too unbelievable.

Here is what I am learning. This quote says it all.

“Vulnerability is not weakness, and the uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure we face every day are not optional. Our only choice is a question of engagement. Our willingness to own and engage with our vulnerability determines the depth of our courage and clarity of our purpose; the level to which we protect ourselves from being vulnerable is a measure of our fear and disconnection.” – Dr. Brene’ Brown

This reflection of my past years started this morning as my sister was kind enough to send me a picture when I was 18 and won a pageant and went off to Nationals in Hawaii.

When I looked at this image, I remember the scared little girl, that most, who know me now would have a lot of questions and no this was not a costume contest. Even before I was 18, I spent my life trying to be someone that I thought others would like. Trying to say the right things, do the right things, when in reality I had no clue and I felt out of place. I wasn’t being who I was at a time when I didn't know who I wanted to be. I spent my life designing myself to be someone's version of perfect and not figuring out my own identity. I’ve sacrificed a lot trying to be perfect that can’t be recovered. I’ve squander precious time, resources and relationships along the way.

But no regrets. None whatsoever. I was learning and I am right where I am supposed to be AND I still have a lot to learn.

Be Courageous! Be Vulnerable! Be Wealthy